Thackeray, Miandad and non vegetarian sins

Hello and welcome to yet another edition of my country this week. Sorry for missing out on some previous weeks’masalas but you’ve to pardon me for I was away on a home trip. But don’t you worry, for this country is ever pregnant with masala.

First thing – what were you eating when you were in 6th standard? If your answer included any non vegetarian food products, it pretty much explains why you’re reading this blog post from inside a jail. Researchers at S. Chand publishers have finally figured out the deadly link between the non vegetarian diet and the violent behavior of human beings. It’s all the release of harmful hormones you see! Look at them Japs for instance – chomping away at that tree bark and living up to 100 years! When is sushi? Why is fish? Go run to a temple!

So, after fixing the deadly rape weapon chowmein, we have identified another immoral ingredient which was hellbent on destroying the moral fibre of the country. Pretty sure soon there’d be sociologists competing on Masterchef India.

Bal Thackeray died yesterday. He was one of those individuals who seem to be permanently garlanded with the cliched ‘love him or hate him you can’t ignore him’ sort of fellow. What this cliched line actually means in almost every such case is ‘love him or hate him you can’t ignore his crimes against humanity’. And Thackeray has never disappointed in that regard ever. There were all sort of people giving tribute to the man who would have done a service if he’d have died 20 years ago (before Babri Masjid demolition and subsequent riots). From national icons like Sachin Tendulkar to Amitabh Bachchan to super-humans like Rajinikanth and Lata Mangeshkar. Mangeshkar said we are now all orphans. Real orphans from 92-93 riots have been lining up ever since at her bungalow to give her a hug.

Arguably the most surrealistic hilarious tribute came from Miandad who said

I have met him several times in Matoshri and been accorded a warm welcome. We were like friends and religion never came in the way of our friendship

According to SriKrishna report on the 92-93 riots, Bal Thackeray played a leading role like a general marching Shiv Sainiks against the Muslims. Thousands were killed. This was supposedly avenged by Dawood Ibrahim by using Tiger Memon to set Bombay on fire by serial bomb blasts. Hundreds of innocent people were killed. Now Dawood’s daughter is married to Miandad’s son who as we know is a dear friend of Thackeray. So it was all in the family and so many innocent people got killed?